On the day we met I knew that we would end up man and wife
And now we're gettin' ready for a steady happy married life
I dream about the kissin' and the kids that it'll bring us
Then all the grandchildren runnin' round at Christmas
Tradin' in the house for a double-wide camper
Tradin' in the underwear for old-people Pampers
I'm so glad that I'm gonna grow extremely old with you

(Extremely old) Everyday adventures
(Extremely old) "Where the hell are my dentures?"
I'll trim your mole hairs if you'll rub me with Ben-Gay
(Extremely old) Early-Bird at Denny's
(Extremely old) Gonna pay with pennies
I'm gonna love you baby, 'till I forget who you are

Yellin' at the neighbors' kids and actin' anti-soc-i-al
Snappin' like a twig because we're osteoporo-ci-al
I'll have a bunch of model trains down in the basement
You'll have a colostomy and hip replacement
Cruisin' 'round the house in a pimped-out walker
Growin' more back hair than Chewbacc-er
I'm so glad that I'm gonna grow extremely old with you

(Extremely old) Moanin' and a'bitchin'
(Extremely old) Gettin' lost in the kitchen
We'll always stay together, until we fall apart
(Extremely old) Just a pair of old-timers
(Extremely old) His 'n' hers Alzheimers
Now that I've fallen for you, you know I can't get up
Now that I've fallen for you, you know I can't get up