(to the tune of "Centerfold')Does it walk? Does it talk?
The school lunch that you eat?
What they served in the cafeteria
Always made me leave my seat
It looks like soggy corn flakes
It tastes like an oil stain
And if you tried to swallow it
You would be in major pain
Days go by, I eat it less
One bite makes me turn green
Makin students eat that garbage
Is really kind of mean

My blood runs cold
Whenever I see that ugly mold
Ugly Cafeteria Mold
Ugly Cafeteria Mold
My blood runs cold
Yeah, whenever I see that ugly mold
Ugly Cafeteria MoldSlipped my tray under the desk
Got it all over my girlfriend's dress
And before I could get away
She punched me in the eye
I was shaking in my shoes
Whenever I saw that ugly goo
It was pretty plain to see
If I ate it I would die
That green and fuzzy substance
To nauseating to touch
Just one nibble of that gunk
Is really just too much

If you listened then you understand
So now I've got another plan
When the lunch bell rings, on the dot
I'm heading for the student lot
Take my car, yes I will
I'm gonna take my car and drive it
Take it to a Burger King
For some real food in private
A part of me feeling ill
From that cafeteria swill
Oh no, I can't stand it
Oh, yeah, I guess I gotta can it
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na