Dm                           Bb
 I break the silence with my voice
                    D
And everyone turns 'round
                             Bb
To see the source of all the noise
           Dm
And here I stand

                             Bb
It's not as though I mean to upset you
                          Dm
With the things I say and do
                            Bb
I should know better, but I said so anyway

Dm                     Bb
 It's easier to play a part
              Dm
And read your lines
                                 Bb
Than freely speak what's in your heart
            Bb
And in your mind
      Dm
Is it me
                              Bb
Who says these things that so offend you
                  Dm
Inappropriate and loud

I'd say I'm sorry, but it's
Bb                                 F
Hard to speak with both feet in my mouth

[Chorus]

F            Bb
All hail the king of dunces
F
You best hold on
    C             F
I'm opening up my mouth
              Bb
Bring out the maypole
    F      G              F
And tie me up and shut me out
            Bb
Devil knows what possessed me
         F        C                 F
To shoot my arrow straight into the sky
                 Bb
String me to the mast and
F        G              Bb
Hoist me up and hang me high
      F        C
I put no blame on you
Bb             F   C    Bb
I brought this all upon myself
          Dm
It's just this thing I do
   Bb
At times like this
             Dm          Bb Gm Dm Bb
I wish I was someone else

[Verse 2]
Dm                        Bb
There's a lever inside my head
Dm         Bb           Dm
Between my mouth and my brain
                                Bb
Keeps me from hearing what I've said

'Til it's too late
             Dm
Now it's too late
         F         Dm   Bb
Smear my lips with Vaseline
                        Dm
'cause I'm a vocal libertine

I try explaining but then
Bb                             F
Even I'm not quite sure what I mean

[Chorus]
                     Bb
All hail the king of dunces
    F
You best hold on
    C             F
I'm opening up my mouth
              Bb
Bring out the maypole
    F      Gm             F
And tie me up and shut me out
           Bb
Devil knows what possessed me
   F              C                 F
To shoot my arrow straight into the sky
                 Bb
String me to the mast and
F        Gm     F       Bb
Hoist me up and hang me high
         Am
I put no blame on you
Bb             Dm       Gm
I brought this all upon myself
Bb             F       Dm
It's just this thing I do
  Bb
At times like this
                     F    Bb F C F Bb F Gm F
I wish I was someone else

[Bridge]
Dm
I don't know what to say
Bb                            Dm
I was only trying to make you smile
Bb             Dm     Bb
And bring some needed levity
        D           Bb
To your world for a while
        F        Dm       Bb
I never meant to make you cry
             Dm        Bb
But I did it all by myself
D                      Dm
It's just this thing I do
Bb
At times like this
             D
I wish I was someone else!

[Chorus]
F            Bb
All hail the king of dunces
F
You best hold on
    C             F
I'm opening up my mouth
              Bb
Bring out the maypole
    F      Gm     F
And tie me up and shut me out
            Bb
Devil knows what possessed me
   F              C                 F
To shoot my arrow straight into the sky
                 Bb
String me to the mast and
F        Gm             F
Hoist me up and hang me high

[Outro]
             Bb
All hail the king of fools
F
This boy's been bad
C                    F
Let's keep him after school
               Bb
Send me to the blackboard
    F               Gm              F
And write a hundred times "I am the dunce"
            Bb
Devil knows what possessed me
   F                C          F
To shut my mind and open up my mouth
                 Bb
String me to the anchor
    F        G          Bb
And watch me drown in myself