G 
Well, lately I been noticin' a gradual escalation, 
In your inability to handle your libation. 
    C  
Go zero to sixty, 
D                    G 
When you get on the whiskey. 
 
Well, used to be a glass of wine an' you'd be fine all evenin'. 
Now I'm the one who says: "We're done," an' tells us when we're leavin'. 
Well, I miss the way that it was, 
Can't even catch a good buzz.  
 
'Cause I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home, 
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone. 
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab. 
I don't mean to make you mad, 
But I don't want that responsibility, 
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me. 
 
Well, I never thought it'd come to this when I said: "Have another." 
'Cause, baby, you turned into me, an' I became my mother. 
Well, here's what I'm thinkin': 
You're interferin' with my drinkin'.  
 
I think I have an answer to our present situation, 
'Cause you an' me out on the town's got built in limitations. 
So let me make this clear: 
Hey I'm the one who's drinkin' here. 
 
'Cause I ain't worryin' about who's drivin' home, 
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone. 
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab. 
I don't mean to make you mad, 
But I don't want that responsibility, 
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me. 
 
I ain't tryin' to ruin your good time. 
But I damn sure ain't lettin' yours ruin mine. 
You ain't gonna ruin my good time, baby. 
 
I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home, 
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone. 
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab. 
I don't mean to make you mad, 
But I don't want that responsibility, 
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me. 
No, I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me, yeah.