egg nog spreads joy around, elves telling me to 'double down' most holidays, i'll just mope, instead of losing money on a river boat let it snow let it snow let it ride, watered down screwdriver cost me $5 lost my shirt at the reindeer track, if i keep betting i might win it back CHORUS santa's going ho-ho-ho, keno under mistletoe from the north pole to reno, it's christmas in the casino twas the night before christmas and all through the house pathetic losers were getting soused i down by un-told sums, kris kringle wants to take my thumbs donner and blitzen are by my side, the dice are loaded and so am i winning straight is just too hard, i've got the rainman counting cards. jingle slots -- chestnuts hot -- jingle slots silent night, holy night spinning wheels, neon lights round yon pit boss, Siegfried and Roy as i sign over the deed to the island of misfit toys for rolling another snake eyes, rolling another snake eyes left milk and cookies by the roulette wheel i'm headed out to the blood mobile i want to spend the holidays at home instead i'm gonna die alone (then all the reindeer loved him)