D                                                      G
It's an asshole celebration and they're all out on the street.
D                            C            G       D
See them on the sidewalk, oh hear them shuffling feet.
D                                              G
As twenty thousand assholes do an asshole promenade, 
D                               C        G     D
Step aside good people it's the assholes on parade.

D G D C G D

[Verse 2]

D                                                 G
We got the assholes for freedom, the assholes for fun.
D                              C       G    D          
The assholes for Jesus and the assholes for guns.
D                                  G
Assholes for justice, assholes for crime.
D                         C         G   D
Assholes for assholes, assholes for all time.

D G D C G D

[Verse 3]

D                                                    G
We got assholes making money. They're making all the rules.
D                                      C       G      D
They're talking all our jobs and their filling up our schools.
D                                      G
Assholes on the water, assholes in the sky, 
D                                C        G    D 
Sign that says help wanted, only assholes need apply.

D G D C G D

[Break]

A                              
Oh teacher won't you tell me, Have I really made the grade?
A7                                           G          D
Am I head off my class, or am I just another asshole on parade?

D G D C G D x4

[Verse 4]

D                                              G
Assholes give the orders, and assholes row the boat
D                              C      G     D
Assholes get elected, cause assholes get to vote.
D                                            G
I once heard it said that old assholes never die, 
D                             C  G  D
They just lay in bed and multiply.

C        G      D        C        G     D
Assholes in the morning, assholes every night.
C        G      D        C        G      D
Assholes to the left and assholes to the right.
D                                              G
As twenty thousand assholes do an asshole promenade, 
D                              C        G     D 
Step aside good people its the assholes on parade.