Chairman:
What's a king without his crown?
Take away his throne and gown
He could be the rabble or the Russian czar
Judge each creature of our race
By each feature in his face
Look at him ( I rest my case) well there you are!
And it matters not to me what part of town you've come from
We but cheer you've made it here at all
Here within this garish parish called the music hall

Chairman & Company:
And there you are
How very glad we are that there you are
It isn't who you are but where you are
And there you are, and grateful are we to see
How fine and fair you are! There you are

Prysock:
I am standing with a gent who seems singularly bent
On attaching both his hands to both my knees

Nutting:
I'm considering the lap of a most engaging chap
And I'll let him do exactly as I please

Paget:
I've a lady down in front who's handed me her latch key
Surely she must know that spells her doom

Peregrine:
And this man has grand designs to show me
In my dressing room

Chairman & Company:
And there you are
How distingue and debonair you are
Just slightly south of Leicester Square you are
That thankful we all should be full well-aware you are
So lightning quick let's all kick up a fuss
We can but pray your trust is blind in us
So drink your fill and just unwind in us
A warmly wicked frame of mind in us
You'll find in us
We want you! and not a lot we care for
where you've been
And not a jot we care how you got in:
We but care that there you are
Damned if there you are