The boss isn't looking
So I use my screen
For browsing an online music magazine

And there I see a thing
That I can't believe
There are still band logos made with Ogilvie

'cause me,

I'm something of a typeface connoisseur
I eat chicken wing dings with my font du jour [tofu chicken]
And I can spot your shitty fonts like a cheap toupee
And still blow you away
With my Arial display

And when it comes to fonts,
I annihilate
And when I print my fonts,
I always collate
Some are narrow and condensed,
Others heavyweight
And I'm more gothic
Than any Copperplate

Hey, I've Got That Font
And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want
Hey, I've Got That Font
They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant
Hey, I've Got That Font
With bolds and italics from here to Vermont
Hey, I've Got That Font
Creepygirl and Rockwell, I'm a fuckin' font savant

There are so many fonts that I recognize
Zoom in all you want, they won't pixelize
'Cause I know the good shit from the replicas
I'll see you in Helvetica

and then a

Big fucking axe will cut off your hands
You used to be serif, but now you're sans
And I got plans to make that font
Used by Mickey D's
I'll trace it out with the blood
From where your hands used to be

I customized a font so each serif ends in a hook
But your custom font looks like gobbledygook
And that's not Eras Lite but Eras Medium that you mistook
And I'm more gothic
Than any Franklin Book

Hey, I've Got That Font
And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want
Hey, I've Got That Font
They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant
Hey, I've Got That Font
If there was a typeface army, then I'd be the commandant
Hey, I've Got That Font
I sell 'em to pay off my Mitsubishi Galant

Morpheus
Times New Roman
Ultraworld
Bookman Old Style
Garamond
Liquidism
Comic, Bloody, Impact

Verdana
Goudy Stout
Century Gothic, Bauhaus

Joystix
Buffy
Liquidism 2
Metal Lord
Courier New