Thought I'd get a little out of my tree, I didn't know how far I'd get.
Took a look in the mirror, but I couldn't find the strength to spit.
Took a dive in the water of life, and believe me you I went for a swim.
And by the time the rollers finally pulled me over, I knew I'd take a ride with them.

So slap the cuffs on buddy,
help yourself to my money.
I wish I had more to give but you see I'm kinda strapped right now.
Yeah slap the cuffs on buddy,
I can see you think it's funny.
And could you take your foot off my neck for a second
so I can peel my face off the ground.

Getting thick, a little big for my shoes, got to thinking I was big jim slade.
Some thought-he-was with a chip on his shoulder pulled the pin on this hand grenade.
Made him acquainted with a brick wall, it's tough to whistle when you look that way.
But the man from the law came and broke me in the balls
and now I'm counting out the months and days.

So slap the cuffs on buddy,
help yourself to my money.
I wish I had more to give but you see I'm kinda strapped right now.
Yeah slap the cuffs on buddy,
I can see you think it's funny.
And could you take your foot off my neck for a second
so I can peel my face off the ground.

Hey man I'm out now, come pick me up and we'll go get a drink.
Yeah I'm out now, cross our fingers we don't end up in the clink.
I'm out now, I'll step a little more light this time.
I'm staying out forever, there ain't no life in a life of crime.