She's the leading light of darkness
Always parks her car in spaces
Meant for little old ladies
Not that dirty big Mercedes
Dresses to the right in trousers
Opens up her mouth and thunders
In her cuban heels she blunders
Haunting me while I should be asleep

If I never meet another person
Half as up their arse as you, my dear,
It'll be too soon
The devil lives upstairs
And she doesn't care
Demonically cold and heartless
Hasn't got the time for carpets
Hasn't got the time for silence
Sacrificed to small hour violence
Riverdancing hound of Hades
With a face for scaring babies
Her boyfriend's screams.
Haunting me when I should be asleep

If I never meet another person
Half as up their arse as you, my dear,
It'll be too soon
The devil lives upstairs
And she doesn't care

Should I get a man to kill her?
Take a rusty knife and spill her
Steaming guts, blood pouring,
On that precious real wood flooring?

If I never meet another person
Half as up their arse as you, my dear,
It'll be too soon
The devil lives upstairs
And she doesn't care