G             Bb        
I was Union Jacked, Kerouac'd
C             Eb                   
John Birched, stopped and searched
G                  A7      C        D     
Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
           G           Bb             
 I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
C              Eb              
Communist 'cos I'm lefthanded:
G                    A7               G     C Eb G G  C Eb G G   
That's the hand they use, well, never mind!

[Verse 2]
          G              Bb           
I've been Walt Disneyed, Dis Disleyed
C              Eb              
John Lennoned, Krishna Menoned
G              A7          C       D    
Walter Brennan punched out Cassius Clay
      G                    Bb         
 I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce
    C                   Eb            
and all my wealth won't buy me health
G             D             G   C Eb G G  C Eb G G   
 So I smoke a pint of tea a day

[Verse 3]
                           F
 I knew a man his brain so small, 
                                G    
He couldn't think of nothin' at all.
                     C 
He's not the same as you and me.
                       F         
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
             G                                     C             
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas,
               
Whoever he is.
    F                G        
The man ain't got no culture,
                     
But its alright, Ma,
                                      C              
It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England.

[Verse 4]
          G             Bb           
I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced
C              Eb              
Mick Jaggered, silver daggered
G                     A7          D     
Andy Warhol won't you please come home?
          G                 Bb              
I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled
C                 Eb         
Tom Wilsoned, Art Garfunkled
G                A7              G           
Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone
G               Bb         
When in London, do as I do
C               Eb             
Find yourself a friendly haiku
G                D              G     
 Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years