FEMALE 1
There was nothing to do on a Friday night
No one was calling my phone
The prospect of plans seemed out of sight
And I sat in my room all alone
So I booted up my computer
And I bought a new sweater online
But while browsing J-Crew
A loneliness grew
And soon I was desperate to find

Something to pick up my mood just a bit
That's when it happened, that's when I got hooked
On the internet site I can't seem to quit
That's when I joined...
The Facebook

MALE 2
Whenever I feel lousy

FEMALE 2
Whenever life's a bore

MALE 1
I count my friends in order
I've got...

ALL
Five hundred and four

FEMALE 1
I search the kids from high school
From my vast array of friends

MALE 1
You can tell if they are smart or not
By the schools they now attend

MALE 2
I post up on my profile
All my latest greatest news

FEMALE 1
I know to never search for folks
With the wrong political views

FEMALE 2
You can read my posted quotes
My favorite artists and their tunes

MALE 1
If you're not on the Facebook
I suggest you join it soon

ALL
Please be my friend on the Facebook
Click accept, I'll add your name to my list
You need me to be your friend on the Facebook
If you refuse, I'll forget that you exist
Help me feel alive
Be friend five hundred and five
Ooo

FEMALE 1
If you want to talk and gossip

FEMALE 2
And you always need the scoop

BOTH FEMALES
You can share your dirty secrets
With a private member group

FEMALE 2
You can always change your picture
From a hot one to a joke

MALE 1
And if your photo's sexy
Then I might give you a poke

FEMALE 1
Yes!

ALL
Please be my friend on the Facebook
And I'll be looking at you when you don't even know
You need me to be your friend on the Facebook
You'll never be really cool if you say no
To socially survive
Be friend five hundred and five
Ooo

MALE 1
Whenever I get horny
And I wanna find a girl
I never just click search
I'm clicking global for the world

MALE 2
When I see a girl I like
I shoot right from the hip
I send I note to see
If she wants to be
In an open relationship

ALL
Please be my friend on the Facebook
Though I don't like you, we'll pretend that we're close
You need me to be your friend on the Facebook
Life is about whoever collects the most
Friends to make you thrive
Be friend five hundred and five

When everyone is in on it
You need to take a look

MALE 1
Be a friend

MALE 2
Be my friend

FEMALE 1
My special friend

FEMALE 2
My fakest friend

ALL
On the Facebook
Facebook