Em                 D         Em
Fergus Laing is a beast of a man
    G        A       Em
He stitches up and fleeces
                 D        Em
He wants to manicure the world
     G       A      Em
And sell it off in pieces
G
He likes to build his towers high
      A
He blocks the sun out of the sky
        Hm                        A
In the penthouse the champagne's dry
              Em
And slightly gassy

[Verse 2]
Em                 D       Em
Fergus Laing, he works so hard
    G   A    Em
As busy as a bee is
                  D         Em
Fergus Laing has seventeen friends
G       A      Em
All as dull as he is
     G
His seventeen friends have seventeen wives
A
All the perfect shape and size
     Hm                             A
They wag their tails and bat their eyes
           Em
Just like Lassie

[Chorus]
A
Fergus Laing he builds and builds
                  Em
Yet small is his erection
A
Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair
                                Em        D
When the wind's in the right direction
                            C       H7
the wind's in the right direction

[Verse 3]
Em                    D         Em
Fergus Laing and his seventeen friends
       G      A    Em
They live inside a bubble
                          D       Em
There they withdraw and shut the door
    G   A        Em
At any sign of trouble
G
Should the peasants wail and vent
     A
And ask him where the money went
       Hm                        A
He'll simply say, it's all been spent
           Em
On being classy

[Verse 4]
Em                 D       Em
Fergus' buildings reach the sky
       G      A    Em
Until you cannot see 'em
                        D        Em
He thinks the old stuff he pulls down
    G   A        Em
Belongs in a museum
G
His own fair home is on the Park
    A
an airy jewel, a city ark
Hm                             A
Hung with Picasso, hung with Braque
              Em
but nothing brassy

[Chorus]
A
Fergus Laing he builds and builds
                  Em
Yet small is his erection
A
Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair
                                Em       D
When the wind's in the right direction
                            C       H7   Em
the wind's in the right direction

[Alternate Verse 4]
     G
His fits are famous on the scene
      A
The shortest fuse, so cruel, so mean
      Hm                    A
But don't call him a drama queen
              Em
Like Shirley Bassey

[Chorus]
Em                 D       Em
Fergus Laing he flaunts the law
     G        A       Em
But one day he'll be wired
                     D       Em
And as they drag him off to jail
       G        A          Em
We'll all shout, "You're fired!"