I'm Barry
I'm Barry
I'm Barry
I'm Barry
And we're here to sing about the news of the week (with Kristi Lee)

On the East Coast on Sunday, a great big snowstorm hit
The Olympics Games have started, but nobody gives a ****
Michelle Kwan had to quit
She injured her groin
That's real fun to sing: "Michelle Kwan injured her groin"

Hey there, Kristi, you're lookin' fine
We interrupt the news to say that
You've been on our mind
We're watching on the webcam
And we have to say
You look particularly hot today

If you weren't busy later
We were kind of wondering
If you would like to go out 'cause we know this great Italian place
And we could have a good time
Even if you say it's not a date
And that you like us
But you just want to be friends

On Saturday there'll be a record-breaking Powerball
On 24, the bad guys tried to gas up a mall
Those wacky Muslims, pissed at cartoons
Set more things ablaze
And Dick Cheney shot a Texas lawyer
Right in the face
(Right in the face)