You can keep your Christmas, Easter, Hannukah and Halloween
The best day of the year, we say's July the 17th
That's the day we celebrate a very special birth
The day our angel, Kristi Lee, arrived down here on Earth

We had some problems giving you our presents all week long
So we'll just have to sing to you about them in this song…

The first Barry baked himself inside of a cake
Naked as the day that he was born
Burned his "little Barry" on the hot blueberry filling
He won't be doing that any more

The second Barry wanted to show up at her work
With flowers and a Hallmark card
But her order for protection says he must maintain a distance
Of at least a hundred fifty yards

The third Barry wanted to fly up in the air
To try skywriting Kristi Lee's name
And parachute buck naked on to her front porch
But they would not let his snake on the plane

The last Barry made a steak dinner for her
In honor of her extra-special day
But he made a porterhouse and New York Strip
And Kristi only likes filet
She only likes filet
She only likes filet
She only likes filet, she o…
(-nly…likes…fil..et)
Happy Birthday, Kristi Lee!!!