Your voice is smooth
The words are clear
But your lips don't move
Yet I can hear you
Oh, no!
You're talking out your ass again

Yakking 'bout things
That you don't know
Your thoughts come out
From a different hole
Oh, no!
You're talking out your ass again

Well, you know that we're the best of friends
And I'm always glad to see ya
But it makes me frown when I hear the sound
Of your verbal diarrhea

Sense and logic
Both succumb
To the dissertations
From your bum
Oh, no!
You're talking out your ass again

M&Ms don't work like Spanish Fly
And Jell-O won't give you cancer
Einstein didn't die from athlete's foot
And ham was never made from hamsters

Ray Charles didn't write
the "Happy Birthday" song
Stevie Nicks is not a guy
Mr. T doesn't own Chuck E. Cheese
And Abe Vigoda hasn't died
Abe Vigoda's still alive

Yeah! Well, faced with facts
You still don't quit
No room for doubt
When you're full of it
Oh, no!
You're talking out your ass again
Don't pretend!

'Cause in truth, my friend
You can't defend
All the words that wend out
Your rear end
Quit talking
Out your wazoo