Went down to the doctor sayin': Help me, something's wrong
Temp's 103 degrees and can't get rid of this hardon
He said: Son, pull down them Levi's and whip out that little dong
Shook his head and then he said exactly what was wrong

I got the beaver, beaver fever
Burnin' me up, 'bout to go insane
I got the beaver, beaver fever
Got a big ol' batch of beaver on the brain

Doc pulled out his notepad, wrote down a number and a name
Said: Ain't no pills or potion gonna do a goddamn thing
Get your ass to Brandy, she's a dandy that's for sure
That remedy between her knees, your fever's only cure

I got the beaver, beaver fever
Burnin' me up, 'bout to go insane
I got the beaver, beaver fever
Got a big ol' batch of beaver on the brain

Tina, Tanya, Terri Lynn got my fever goin' south
Sherry, Mary, Carolyn let me stick it in her mouth
By the time I shot on Sheila, wasn't feelin' all that sick
But it was Betty's snatch that got me back to 98.6

I got the beaver, beaver fever
Burnin' me up, 'bout to go insane
I got the beaver, beaver fever
Got a big ol' batch of beaver on the brain
I got the beaver, beaver fever
Burnin' me up, 'bout to go insane
I got the beaver, beaver fever
Got a big ol' batch of beaver on the brain
Got a big ol' batch of beaver on the brain

Hey, Doc, help me out, man
Beaver stands for pussy