I wanted a hard ball,
I was tired of playing softball.
Wanted a hard ball,
Like the Major Leaguers used.
I asked for a hard ball,
But my parents said, "Just wait.
You're only seven years old
And you have to be eight."
But I wanted a hard ball
In the very worst way.
Needed a hard ball,
I already knew how to play.
I knew I would get one,
They could talk and turn blue.
But there was nothing they could do,
Nothing they could do.

I saved my pennies,
Saved my dimes.
Collected bottles,
It was summertime.
The day was hot
And the sky was blue.
I wanted a hard ball
And was gonna get one too.

I had a good friend
Who was old enough to have one.
He couldn't afford it
So a partnership was made.
He said he would buy it,
If I had a place to hide it.
I gave him my Coke-bottle fortune
And got ready to play.
He came back with a hard ball,
We took it from the box.
It was time to play hard ball,
Time to take our knocks.
Who got to bat first?
We had to be fair.
I dug in my pocket
And flipped a coin in the air.

I lost the toss,
So he was gonna hit.
I started to throw. He said,
"Back up a little bit."
I asked him why,
He said,
" I'll knock it down your throat."
I said,
"You won't even see it,
I bet you're gonna choke."

I let it fly,
Threw it hard as I could throw.
My folks were at work now,
They would never know.
I wanted a hard ball,
It took me by surprise.
When he hit the hard ball,
It hit me right between the eyes.
The moral of this story is
To do what your parents tell you.
And if you can't do that,
A friend's advice might help you.
If you can't do that,
All is still not lost,
Take a tip from me,
Just be lucky with the toss.