OH OH OH !(squishy sound)
Sitting in my house
and i know i'm alone,
Feeling kind'a horny
got a tingle in my bone

Going grab a penthouse
its the one with Sharron Stone,
HEY MASTURBATOR!

I go a little faster
and its feeling kind'a nice
once ain't enough so i have to do it twice
you wanna spank the monkey
I can give you good advice
HEY MASTURBATOR!

*Woman moans*

I use some baby oil
or a lil' vaseline
laying down a towel
so i keep my carpet clean
Never shake my hand
cuz' you don't know where its been

HEY MASTURBATOR!

Im do it in my car
while im driving down the street
One hand on the wheel
and the other on my meat
I can't get out the car
cuz im sticking to the seat

HEY MASTURBATOR!

*Tom Green,a goat and the woman moan*

Since i was a kid
i have been a masturbator
choke the chicken
hold the knob
squezzing the tomato
I flip to miss November
Now im gonna take Raider

HEY MASTURBATOR!

Buffing the banana
Drain the lizard
shake and bake'em
Pounding on the flounder
and its maniaze i'm amakin
Spank the frank
wax the carrot
god my hand its aeching

HEY MASTURBATOR!

*everyone moans*
HEY MASTURBATOR!