Ladies and Gentlemen, we present The Bearded Lady's Follicle Follies There's only one way To please her I have to pluck her With my tweezer If I wanna go out 'Cause the afternoon is sunny That's when she says "Come on, pluck me honey" I pluck and pluck and pluck And think I'm done and then That's when she says "Come on, pluck me again" This pluck, pluck, plucking Is a source of stress Forget just once and She's a plucking mess I pluck her on a Sunday And she looks real nice Monday comes along and I have to pluck her twice Pluck her in the morning Pluck her all the day Pluck her in the evening 'Till there's nothing left to say Sometimes I'm forced to wonder "Have I just run out of luck?" "Does she love me for me?" "Or does she just love to get plucked?" Just once I'd like to keep My tweezer on the shelf Just once I'd like to say "Honey, pluck yourself!" Friends say I'm such a lucky plucker True enough, I have to say If her beard did not grow back I'd pluck her anyway Well, look at her Wouldn't you?