The first sin that once told
Was to my parents at ten years old
I stole somethin', I'll admit it
But not to priests or crucifixers
Me and my best friend chris
Built our alibis from bricks
And when we were questioned, we just read our scripts,
"I didn't do it"

The first crime I did commit
Was mischief night with my friend chris
We packed our bags with toilet paper,
Bars of soap, and egg containers
And we targeted everyone who ever seemed to do us wrong
Oh how the time turns on

And maybe einstein can express
The formulaic mysteries of time
But I've lost the time
And maybe kafka was a writer
But I've been living like my name was samsa

The first night I got my fix
Was with my brother and my friend chris
Stole my mothers smirnoff vodka
Mixed it with some cans of fresca
And we learned how our parents lived
We found that we were good at it
Meet me at the bottom or in between

And maybe einstein can express
The formulaic mysteries of time
By I've lost the time
And maybe kafka was a writer
But I've been living like my name was samsa

See you in hell, I'll see ya when I see ya