Right here's the definitive rant Slates drive me bats Male slates I bait Male slates, male slags Male slates, male slags and apes Male slags, slags slates and tapes Male slags in creaky pants and scrubbed hands Kill jokes, join gangs Male slates, slags slates and apes And slates brake hard, brake hardly Break your slates for Christ's sake Male slags, male slates and tapes Ripoff bands with creaky pants and scrubbed hands Male slate, male slag Knocks over your drink and pays for correct amount spilt Male slags, slags slates and drapes Male slags, slags slates and apes Academic male slags Academic male slags Ream off names of books and bands Ream off names of books and bands Kill cultural interest in our land Male slates, dead publishers sons Dead publishers sons In the star cold, nearly old In the nearly old dead sound of some [petrol] wanker Commence famous apes become great Male slags, male slags and slates Male slags Male slags, slags slates and apes Let's get on to female slates Smoke your cigarettes Make pins out of your whims Break your balls Male cunts Okay mates Male slates Okay let's go to the valley of weights Let's get on to the valley of weights The valley of weights was a valley where everybody wore weights And once they had rid of the weights Once they got rid of the weights they become trite Trite and uptight Too much freedom for a small brain regime Too much freedom for a small brain regime