The swelling in my head Returns as a reminder That I'm not out of the clear And all the nightmares That I suffer while I sleep? You might as well be standing here And all the times That you said "I'm leaving" I'm seething Because I know that when I turn You'll be there Still standing And every lie that had me Believing Keeps reeling Inside my head until the day I drain it Permanently What will it take For me to jump first? I know you'd love to see it And when I hit the ground I know you'll be the one To cry first Because I know my death Won't be enough You'll have to make it worse Yet here I stand Here you stand, and I Can't stand it And if I have to kill you first I'll do it I swear it Cause prison's nothing To this prison I'm in This world I threw myself in When did temptation yield a sense of respect for myself? The swelling in my head Returns as a reminder that I'm killing you today And the thought of my thumbs Pressed against your windpipe Makes the swelling go away