He'd Disappear For Years, Then One Day He Would Just Show
Dad Would Buy Him Shows (Shoes?), Give Him $50 and He'd Go
He Talked About the Good Old Days of War in Vietnam
Did Two Tours of Duty With His New Love Heroin

You Knew He'd Be Covicted Before He Was Ever Tried
Did His Time in Chino, Then Folsom and Wayside
But Every Day Was Prison, Molested As a Kid
Abused By His Stepfather, Hard to Believe the Things He Did

We Call Him Cousin Randy

Couldn't Get Up in the Morning, Couldn't Get to Sleep At Night
Swore the Room Was Full of Demons, But Nothin' Was in Our Sight
No One Was Safe When Randy Came Out to Play
He Would Leave You For Dead and Then Just Walk Away

We Call Him Cousin Randy

One Time While At Grandma's, It Was Getting Kind of Late
Randy Stayed Outside 'cause His Odor Was So Great
He Walked Out the Door and I Told Him "Good Night"
He Charged Me, Grabbed My Neck and He Started Squeezing Tight
Dad and Jim and Grandpa Jumped On to His Back
He Screamed "What's So Good About It" Before He Let Up His Attack
The Neck Day, While We Were Swimming, He Tried to Drown My Sister
Laughing As She Struggled, Then He Pulled Her Up and Kissed Her

We Call Him Cousin Randy. to Us, He's Just Cousin Randy