Me and my friends kickin' in the household
tryin' to figure out thoughts start to unfold
nothing to do or see I can't understand
combine all our thoughts to come up with a plan
car alarm system too expensive to buy
but not if you're gonna hire that guy
with a helmet on his head and a club in his hand
cock in sock, it's the naked jock man

Naked, naked, naked, jock
naked, naked, naked, man
naked, naked, naked, jock
naked, naked, naked

Tall dark man going to break into my car
with naked jock man he ain't gonna get far
car alarm sounds, trunk lifts up
he jumps to the ground
what the fuck's that?
I can hear him scream in fright
n-j-m just ruined his night
you can run, hide, turn yourself in
cause he'll get you in the end

Naked, naked, naked, jock
naked, naked, naked, man
naked, naked, naked, jock
naked, naked, naked

He's the naked jock man
and he's after Dan
naked jock man
R-Y-A-N

Now months have passed since the birth of the jock man
Sally Jesse Raphael and David Letterman
want the jock man to show his face
he's the next bitch on Melrose Place
naked jock man was just a big joke
now you'll see his ass on all the talk shows
the people want to know
they're willing to die
who the fuck is that guy?

Naked, naked, naked, jock
naked, naked, naked, man
naked, naked, naked, jock
naked, naked, naked