[Ram] Heyyy, 'ronica [Veronica] Eww You got a left hand: Use it [Kurt] Don't talk mean like that [Ram] You'll hurt their feelings You make my balls so blue [Kurt] You hurt them badly [Ram] You make my balls so blue [Kurt] They're hangin' sadly [Ram] What did they do to you That you hate them so? [Kurt] Don't run from me They're all beat up [Kurt & ram] Like a tackling dummy! [Kurt] They long for your embrace! [Ram] They're warm like mittens! [Kurt] They'll curl up on your face [Ram] And purr like kittens! [Kurt] You make my balls so blue! [Kurt & Ram] Just look at them glow [Ram] They're beggin' you! [Kurt & Ram] Don't make my balls so blue [Veronica] Heather? Heather? Open the door [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] Oh no, oh no no no! [Veronica] Open the door! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] Oh no, oh no no no! [Kurt] You make my balls so blue So please say hello! [Ram] Hold 'em! [Kurt] Enfold 'em [Kurt & Ram] And never let go! [Kurt] Once you were geeky and nerdy [Ram] But they knew you're dirty [Kurt] You've set them on fire [Kurt & Ram] Whatever you require they'll do! So take 'em home to meet your parents! [Ram] They'll wear a suit and tie [Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] And a fancy collar! [Ram] They'll sing a lullaby [Kurt & Ram] La la la la la! [Kurt, Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] Please make these balls not blue [Ram] Just for a while! [Kurt] Can't wait till later [Kurt & Ram] My pants are rubbin' [Kurt, Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] Like a hot cheese grater! [Veronica] Look! Booze, drink! [Kurt] Thank you so much! [Ram] They will protect you [Kurt] Defend you [Ram] Respect you [Kurt] Befriend you [Ram] Like winnie-the-pooh! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] Winnie-the-pooh! [Kurt] Baby, baby, baby, they're so blue! [Ram] My balls will work for you [Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] They will obey ya! [Ram] They really need rescue! [Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] Like princess leia! [Kurt & Ram] Baby, you've gots to come through [Kurt] Teach them to smile! [Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You got no clue how much These two [Ram, Kurt, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] Depend on you Please help them through! My balls are in your court! [Kurt & Ram] Yeah! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You make them balls so blue! [Kurt & Ram] You make my balls so blue! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You make them balls so blue! [Kurt & Ram] Ow! Ow! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You make them balls so blue! [Kurt & Ram] You make my balls so blue! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You make my balls so blue! You shake them You quake them [Kurt & Ram] Good God! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You break [Kurt & Ram] My balls! You make my balls so blue! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You make my balls so blue! You take them [Kurt & Ram] Lookit! Lookit! Lookit! Lookit! [Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You bake them Chrissake [Kurt, Ram, Heather Duke & Heather McNamara] You make my balls so blue! Please make their dreams come true And make these balls not blue!