D                G
I saw the light,   they returned last night,
   D                           A
un-answered questions tortured me.
D                                  G
  Like how they unlocked the door?   Why's my rectum sore?
D**        A**                   D
  Why do I twitch when I watch E.T?

[Chorus]
G                       D
  Alien Abduction Probe happens all over the globe,
A                                 D
  they came scratched their itch,   left me crying in a ditch.
G                             D
  It's all so crule and cold,   they put my life on hold,
A                           A***               D*           D
  this crap is getting old,   Alien Abduction Probe.

[Verse 2]
         D                         G
You know   they stuck a micro-chip   in the hole between my hips,
D                   A
such a gross indignity.
D                             G
  Involuntary corn holeation,   courtesy of the alien nation,
D**           A**             D
  why do they always come for me? Huh, I say.

[Chorus]
G                       D
  Alien Abduction Probe happens all over the globe,
A                                 D
  they came scratched their itch,   left me crying in a ditch.
G                             D
  It's all so crule and cold,   they put my life on hold,
A                           A***               D*           D
  this crap is getting old,   Alien Abduction Probe.

[Interlude]
| G          | D          | A          | D          |
| G          | D          | A          | A***     | D*          | D         |
[Verse 3]
D                               G
  So, late at night I sit alone   stare at the twilight zone,
D                                 A
  with a sawed off shot gun in my hand.
D                                          G
Drinking cheap wine and getting plastered,   waiting for those great green bastards,
D**                    A**            D
  it's the only way to make them understand. Oooooh

[End-Chorus]
G                       D
  Alien Abduction Probe   happens all over the globe,
A                                 D
  they came scratched their itch,   left me crying in a ditch.
G                             D
  It's all so crule and cold,   they put my life on hold,
A                           A***              D*       D*        D
  this crap is getting old,   Alien Abduction Probe.