Your teeth were white, full of fluoride like sharks'
I wondered if they would glow in the dark
Like those Life-Savers Wint-O-Green sparks

I want to ask if I'll get to find out
But when I talk that's never what it's about
It's just inane garbage in my brain

Like did you know life savers
Light up like lightbulbs
If you chew them in the dark
It's crystal collapsing
Not fire catching

And I hope you'll find my facts interesting
So I never have to tell you my thoughts
So I never have to show you enough
To see me tick

I read it only works with Wint-O-Green
They're pretty cheap right after Hallowe'en
But you told me that you'd already seen

So like a kid whose best joke has been told
I lost my cool, swallowed one of them whole
I could have died but I'm breathing right through the hole

Now, did you know life savers
Look just like life buoys
And their inventor had a son
Who drowned himself at sea
Before he turned thirty three

I hope you'll find my facts interesting
So I never have to tell you my thoughts
So I never have to show you enough
To see me tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick