They come to see the dungeons here The tourists flock from far and near They do the tower and try the beer The picking pockets cost your life And every jury has a price They bring the kids and show the wife It makes them proud to be around And take their summer piccies To drink at night in Soho bars And end up feeling sickie And we're all making money Lovely money Rubber necks with cash to burn Export criminals return They keep on coming, never learn They fill their diaries page by page And make it sound so thrilling They're searching for the real thing They're flushed and they are willing And we're all making money Lovely money The victors of the opium wars Now take their trips and open doors They stand upon the actual floors Actual floors, actual floors It makes them proud to be around And take their summer piccies To drink at night in Soho bars And end up feeling sickie More money, more money More money, more money Now off you go, away you fly We've had your money now goodbye We fleeced you good we bled you dry Goodbye goodbye (repeat to fade)