[Josh & band]
Whoa
Yeah
Okaaay
Hey!

Whoa
Bros
Beer
Sports!

[Josh]
When she walked into the ping pong hall
Casually tossing a ping pong ball
I could tell she's the most perfect girl who's ever existed

[Band]
Dude!

[Josh]
Oh man, look at her pong that ping
When she plays she doesn't care if anyone's watching
She does it for herself, and that puts my fears to rest

[Band]
Bro!

[Josh]
After each rally, she chugs beer instead of water
She's so aloof it borders on cold
And that's what makes me want her!

Ping pong girl
She's so independent
This fantasy beats out flight attendant
She's playing ping pong on her own terms
So I'm the pursuer!

[Band]
Pursuer

[Josh]
Ping pong girl
Her forehand is a jet stream
And her backhand's right out of a sex dream
And that's the best messy bun
I'd ever seen in the world

My p-p-ping-pong girl
Girl
Girl
Dudes sing these kinds of songs!
Whoa
Bro
Sega
Jock itch!

[Josh]
When she serves the ball, look how she throws it
She's so hot but she doesn't know it
She probably just found that outfit laying around

[Band]
[Like in the trash!]

[Josh]
Look at her skill on the ping-pong
Uh, court?
Nothing's hotter than a chick who's good at sports!
Whoa! She scored a thousand points!
I think I love her

[Band]
That's a lot of points!

[Josh]
Ping pong shows that she has control over her body
But it doesn't threaten my masculinity like basketball or hockey!

Ping-pong girl
She's like serena or venus!
Just watching her swing affects my penis
You know us dudes
We love to talk about our penises

[Band]
Our penises

[Josh]
Ping pong girl
She is so indifferent
It makes me want a tangible commitment
She and I should give a 30-year mortgage a whirl!
My p-p-ping pong girl

[Josh & band]
Girl
Girl
Girl
Marriage!
Girl
Girl
Let's share a Costco card!