One, two, three, four Yeah I don’t wanna be your doormat I don’t wanna be No plastic blow-up doll I don’t want to be like my Aunt Lucy I am so disgusted with it all Yeah, love is a scam And I don’t really give a damn oh, yeah, love is a scam I don’t wanna clip your toenails I don’t wanna smell your stinkin' funky feet I’m so sick of falling in the Fill up the alabaster sink Yeah, oh, yeah, love is a scam And I don’t really give a damn oh, yeah, love is a scam