To have and hold suburban life
Forever live as man and wife
Welcomed by the neighborhood
The neighbors here are really good
They say "What's mine is yours
And yours is mine"

Swap-meat the American way
You can have it twice a day
Swap-meat the American way
It's indoor recreation at its best

Hold me back, it's just too much
I've never seen the like of such
I must admit it beats the bars
No broken hearts or nasty scars
Just carpet burns and wait your turns

Swap-meat the American way
You can have it twice a day
Swap-meat the American way
Ahh it's strictly code of the road

Detectives breaking down the door
The evidence laid on the floor
Pistol-packin' romeos, stop illegal loops and holes...
My old man says it's time to go
But I just wants to do-si-do
I can't stop this jig and jag
I wanna swing my little honey
To the swamp-meat rag
Community property, it's all in the family

Swap-meat the American way
You can have it twice a day
Swap-meat the American way
Swap-meat the American way
Swap-meat the American way