Vote for me/It's a joke
I would rather/Be the Pope
If I have to/I'll drink Coke
Hey I'm desperate/I need the job I'm broke

Vote for me/It's a joke
I'll take a bath/And use real soap
Comb my hair/Real nice
So what if/I've got lice

And if I'm elected President
I won't do anything
Just sit around and collect the money
Invite my friends over to play poker
And tell jokes that are funny

Vote for me/It's a joke
Famous people/I misquote
Tell you that/It's all true
Vote for me/Be a fool

Vote for me/It's a joke
I don't care/If you smoke
I don't care/If you choke
Just before you die/Make sure you vote